The Evolution of Guilt, A Sylar Story: Chapter One, Cry
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Heroes, and do this purely for my own enjoyment. I make no money off of this. It just makes me tingly and gleeful. I hope it does you as well.
Warning: This story contains the spanking of an adult, but don't worry, the brat had it coming. Still, if this is not your thing please don't read.
What if the next step in Sylar's empathy ability evolution is guilt? This story takes place a few years in the future when Sylar teams with the Heroes against a common foe, and forms a bond with Claire, who decides to help with his guilt through spanking.
Look up guilt on wikipedia for more.
Chapter One: Cry
We'd just gotten back to the cabin that currently acted as headquarters from our scouting mission, hanging our coats in the hall closet that divided the main entrance room from the joined kitchen and living room. Claire and I had partnered together exclusively everyday for six and a half months today - not that I was counting. The mission had gone well, I'd managed to get blueprints of the Cold War silo where the government was now holding 'our kind,' obviously in hopes that an underground maze with booby traps would slow us down. That really did amuse me.
"Hey, go see if they left us anything for dinner. I asked Matt to get Chinese, I know how much you like it," I closed the closet door and smiled at her as her eyes widened, "and yes, I made sure to ask for the steamed pot stickers." She smiled, clasping her hands together. Matt and Mohinder were already gone on surveillance duty, and Matt's mother hen complex always meant a waiting meal in the oven on surveillance night. Even though he certainly only really did it for Claire, there was still always plenty of food for the both of us. Tubs was indeed growing on me.
"I'm going to look over the blueprints of the silo to …why are you looking at me like that?" I asked her, my mood instantly changing from light to annoyed since I already knew where this was headed. Not this again. She'd been babbling about it all day.
"I wanna see if I can make you cry." She looked up at me with happy eyes, her hands smoothing out the front of her skirt.
"Claire, I'm not letting you do that to me. I already know you can't make me cry," I made sure there was as much annoyance as possible in my voice as I pushed past her from the hallway into the living room.
"I've never tried." She of course followed me, helpless puppy, sad eyes looking up at me. That doesn't work on me, Blondie.
"I said no."
"Yea, well, if you don't I'm gonna tell everyone you're scared of me," Claire said as she folded her arms in that snooty, resolute cheerleader sort of way. Scared? Fucking manipulative cheerleader. I'll show you scared!
I turned left, stooping into her personal space so that our noses were inches apart, thinking I could intimidate her into backing down her little game by leering at her straight in the eye. "No one will be home for hours, Claire, wouldn't want to anger the killer, would we?" I growled the words at her.
The slightly raised eyebrows and the huff told me she wasn't biting. No fear. Not anymore. I sighed and stood straight.
"It's not even going to hurt me," I reasoned.
"Then what's the problem?" Just like that, her perky attitude was back tenfold. It was my turn to huff.
She swept past me and sat down on the tall couch, scooting herself back into it. I bit back a smirk when I saw that her feet barely touched the ground before she realized the same thing and scooted forward closer to the edge again. Looking up with her sweetest smile, she patted her lap expectantly.
"Come on, don't be a baby. …and you know you deserve it." She spoke so sweetly; you'd think she was offering me an ice cream sundae.
"Might even help you with your guilt." Her smile faded ever so slightly. Guilt?
"I don't have….." The sudden glare sent me in another verbal direction. "You're not dropping this, are you?"
"No – and why should I, with all you've done to me and my family? You ruined Everything! You ruined our Lives! You're lucky all I wanna do is spank you."
And there it was. Just tell me she wasn't Noah's daughter. Claire's other super power? Disemboweling you with mere words.
Somehow I was considering her demand, not that I felt guilty of course.
It wasn't my fault that I was more highly evolved than anyone else. I was made a monster, a hunter. ….it was my God given right. Besides, my work the past year and a half helping Claire and the others to try and stop the government round ups more than negated anything I'd done previously, right?
Even I wasn't buying that last bit.
"Why now? Why after all this time? We've been working together nearly everyday for over a year now…just the two of us for over a half a year."
"It wouldn't have made a difference before," she said thoughtfully, and then firmly "Now, stop stalling and come here."
What does that mean 'wouldn't have made a difference before'? I was walking to her side without really even being conscious of doing so, irritated as I rolled what she'd said through my mind. For a blonde, Claire had a strange way of being very Zen at times. …before what? What changed?
"Good boy," she said as she quickly grabbed my wrist and yanked me towards her lap. It wasn't that she was strong, her boldness had taken me by surprise and I lost my balance. She quickly released my wrist, grabbing and pushing down on my lower back while I was in midair so as to guide me to her lap.
I threw my hands in front of my face just in time to prevent my chin from connecting with the wood floor. Anyone else threw me around like this, and they'd be dead. She giggled, and I realized I had growled in frustration once I'd realized what was happening. I did NOT agree to this!
"Don't laugh at me!" I yelled at her over my shoulder, slamming my feet and my fists on the floor in anger, feeling stupid with my tall frame draped over her tiny lap, even though my thin hips fit just fine. "You shouldn't be doing this, Claire." She smiled.
"This is ridiculous, you know that!" I punched the floor again, growling. She gave me a mock pout, as though to insinuate that I was whining. I do NOT whine. I decided looking at the floor was much more appealing than her face, and I growled again. The only reason I don't kill you now is Merely due to the fact that the death wouldn't take. Certainly not out of any attachment.
She patted my back as though she could read my mind, and I somehow found it hard to stay angry. I did, however, find it nearly impossible yet imperative to stay over her lap, my mind churning to find the answer to why that was. This is so beneath me, and yet I can't move. My curiosity picks the worst times to prick up. Simple curiosity, that's what this is. Nothing more. Nothing more at all.
She sighed happily to herself, pushing me and shifting her weight until she had me where she wanted me, and I wondered where to put my hands. I decided on the floor, thinking it best not to latch onto her bare leg. She, of course, acting all the while like all of this was the most natural thing in the world.
Wrapping her left arm around my torso, she pulled me snug up against her and rested her right hand low on my ass. I'd never been spanked before – hadn't even gotten my ass swatted as a child – and while I wasn't all that concerned – I mean, how bad could it really be? Fuck, let her do it if it'd shut her up – I did quickly realize that being bent over a lap with my butt that high in the air was enough to fully embarrass me.
"Ok, enough. Let me up, Claire." I wiggled, indicating to her that I was going to get up.
"I don't think so! You stay right there, we haven't even started yet!" Her grip tightened.
"I don't like this. I want up." I started to push up, not liking the nervous tone or that my voice had cracked, but she tightened her grip further, and I didn't want to fight her. We'd come a long way over the past year. Not that I cared about her. ….we just had a common goal.
"I don't care what you want right now, you stay PUT!" She yelled, enunciating 'put' with a surprisingly sharp slap to the under curve of my left cheek. My eyes shot wide and I sucked in a breath as I froze. That actually hurt. It hurt very much, in fact. Nothing hurts Me! This little bitch found a weak spot I didn't even know I had!
"And don't you go using your powers to keep from feeling this, you hear me?" I realized I had both hands gripping her bare thigh, fingers sunk deep in the flesh, as I started breathing again. When did they leave the floor? I quickly put them back down to brace myself awkwardly, uncomfortable with the contact as another thought screamed at me. Get up, get up Now!
"I said, Do You Hear Me?" She slapped the same spot again four times, but with more force. I clenched my eyes shut and attempted a failed laugh, trying not to let on that she was hurting me, which she was, and instead thought about her not wanting me to use my powers. This was actually something I could do, but I hadn't realized anyone else would figure that out…Especially not the blonde cheerleader. I knew that the healing would try to kick in automatically, but I was wondering if a barrage of smacks would impede it.
I was considering this when,
SMACK!
"Sy-lar?"
"I hear you!"
"And?" She drummed her fingers on the very same place she had been aiming all her swats, keeping the area radiating.
"Okay, I won't use my powers. Happy now?" That damn whine had slipped into my voice, and I shuddered slightly.
"I won't be happy until I make you cry," shocked, I looked over my shoulder to see a smug grin on her face. This is not promising. "I don't care how long it takes, either. It's not like my hand is going to get sore." Not promising at all, I thought as I swallowed.
She raised her hand high into the air; I tried not to cringe, seeing the set look on her face as our eyes met. She started the spanking in earnest, and I had to turn away as she peppered her slaps all over my ass so that I couldn't anticipate where she'd focus next.
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
Her little hand rained down in perfect time with the second hand on the clock that stood on the table next to the couch, and I wondered if she was aware of this as I saw that the time read 6:11pm. I took some comfort in at least knowing when the next blow was coming and in the perfection of its timing. Maybe 'comfort' isn't the right word…
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
Her speed was causing the prickly pain of healing, just before her hand fell again bringing with it instant pain, causing a horrible vicious circle. I found I couldn't quite turn the healing completely off while she spanked me, my concentration just kept faltering with each new swat, but at least my attempts would keep her from noticing. Three minutes on the nose later, the realization that I was definitely not going to skate through this pain free made it difficult to keep my anxiety in check. If I don't react, she'll give up soon, I thought desperately.
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
How the fuck can This be hurting me so bad? I slowed my breathing, in through my nose, out through my mouth in a rhythm to accompany the clock in 1:4 time. This strategy worked all of two minutes and fifty six seconds when she once again laid into the areas I'd be sitting on later – Yea, much later - causing my legs to slightly jerk involuntarily with each spank. Glad she couldn't see my face, I tried to focus all of my needed reaction there, wordlessly mouthing my pain as I scrunched my face, as at least some small outlet for my pain while I balled up my fists. I never was very good with pain.
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
Stop, stop, Stop, STOP! I felt fear, something I hadn't experienced in a long time, well up inside me as I realized that the healing ability was actually making the pain much much worse. This is Not HAPPENING! I stomped my right toe on the wood floor in frustration, barely containing a whimper, immediately regretting showing any emotion.
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
"Getting a little uncomfortable already, are we?"
A little? You've been at it for …. eight minutes? For only eight minutes? She has got to stop, I have to make her stop! Broken hearted, I couldn't bite back the groan that escaped when I saw that the clock only read 6:19pm, but I tried to play it to my advantage.
"Legs are going to sleep," I grunted as I stretched them out one at a time, trying to cool some of the heat building in my ass, all the while her hand never missing a beat.
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
"Uh huh. Funny, my limbs never go numb." That was it…
"You're playing with fire, Claire! Stop! Before you get burned! Stop! NOW!" I screamed at the top of my lungs over my shoulder, focusing all the pain into the most intense glare I could muster. This will end it! This'll scare her! This look gets everyone!
She paused, hand poised high and ready to strike me again, shock on her face. I knew I had her now. I knew I'd finally won. A smirk just began to play on my face as I thought of her failure when her lip curled into a sneer and her eyes shot to mine. Daaaamn iiit. She just glared at me for a long moment, her throat making a guttural noise while she shook her head slowly and then raised her hand higher before slamming it down.
"Don't you Threaten ME, Especially not in This position! You've had Plenty of chances to really stop this and you Haven't," she yelled back, spanking all the while, "you're NOT getting out of this Now! You KNOW you deserve this!" Then the unthinkable happened, she started hitting harder. Harder? NO! I honestly didn't think it could get any worse than before. Shit, shit, shit!
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
The force of her swats pushed me forward a little with every connection, and I couldn't help but squirm, I wanted to get away from that little hand! I could feel a slight sweat break out on my forehead, causing my hair to begin falling forward into my eyes. I tried so hard to keep quiet, but little gasps and sighs started escaping my lips. Within three minutes time, every smack was followed by a soft, 'Aahhh,' and I lowered my head in both pain and embarrassment - so much for dignity.
SMACK! "Ah" SMACK! "Aah" SMACK! "..ow" SMACK! "Ah!" SMACK! "Aahhh…Claire!" SMACK! "No!" SMACK! "Aahha" SMACK! "ah…Stop!"
"You don't tell me what to do right now," she breathed into my ear, giving me chills.
SMACK! "Mm" SMACK! "Ah" SMACK! "Aah" SMACK! "Ah!" SMACK! "Ow!" SMACK! "Aahh!" SMACK! "Mmmm" SMACK! "ah" SMACK! "AH"
Her hand fell incessantly, and I was not used to this. I couldn't help it when I started to softly kick and slightly buck. Maybe if I show her that I can accept this, it will be enough and she'll stop. I tried to keep quiet and docile, not wanting to see how bad this could really get.
SMACK! "Ah" SMACK! "mmm" SMACK! "Aahh" SMACK! "Ah!" SMACK! "mmm" SMACK! "Aah" SMACK! "nnnn" SMACK! "Ah" SMACK! "AHHAA"
After awhile I was drawing my breaths more quickly, pawing at the floor. Curiosity – and a need to get my mind elsewhere - got the best of me, and I looked to see how much time had passed. It was only 6:29pm. Ten minutes had passed since the last time I'd looked, and at this rate I was worried that Claire would get her damn wish. I'm Sylar, a fucking serial killer, and this is what gets me? This? I already wanted to cry, and not just from the pain.
SMACK! "nnnnff" SMACK! "Ah" SMACK! "Aah" SMACK! "Ah!" SMACK! "Oh!" SMACK! "Mmm!" SMACK! "Amm" SMACK! "ah" SMACK! "aahhhh"
"I didn't realize it was so easy to shut you up," I bristled at the smirk I heard in her voice. I looked over my shoulder and saw the look on her face. Not quite a grin, but close.
"Easy? AH - Your hand - MMM - has to be FEEling this by N-now. It's – AH! – going on – ow – twenty MINutes! AHH!" I'd wanted to stop speaking after the first three words, wishing I'd just kept my mouth shut. I'd try not to make that mistake again, no matter how much she goaded me. My eyes fell again to the floor in front of me in irritation.
SMACK! "Mm" SMACK! "Ah" SMACK! "Aah" SMACK! "Ah!" SMACK! "Mmm!" SMACK! "Aah!" SMACK! "Ow!" SMACK! "AH" SMACK! "AH!"
"My hand's fine, you changed me when you cut my skull open. Remember that? After you stole my ability? Since then it takes a lot to get to me, for a while I couldn't even feel anything at all. Now," she bent close to my ear again, "how are you doing?" Her tone sounded so bright and innocent. How can she speak to me so sweetly when she's doing this to me? I thought as I furrowed my brows, looking straight ahead, it both angered and frightened me. I didn't like being reminded what I'd done to her, especially not at this particular moment in time.
SMACK! "AW" SMACK! "AH" SMACK! "Mmm" SMACK! "AH!" SMACK! "Oww!" SMACK! "AH!" SMACK! "Mmmm" SMACK! "AH" SMACK! "AH"
"That wasn't a rhetorical question," I looked back at her again, hoping the pain that I knew was showing on my face would be enough of an answer. Doon't make me speaak, I tried to say with my eyes. I got no such mercy.
"Well, if you aren't going to answer me, I'll just have to see for myself, won't I?" She immediately began tugging my jeans down with me still over her lap, not even bothering to unzip them.
"NO!" I screamed, reaching back, trying to grab a hold of my jeans to keep them up. "Don't you dare, Claire! CLAIRE!" She giggled, I growled. Thanks to my thin frame, she already had them halfway down my ass when I was able to grab them, beginning a tug of war. "Stop it!" I tried kicking my legs and wiggling back and forth to throw her off, but couldn't. She laughed harder.
"Stop laughing at me, you stupid fucking little Bitch! I'll fucking KILL you, you WHORE!" I screamed the words at her. Her laughing stopped immediately, the silence in the room making my ears ring, and I regretted saying it as soon as the words left my lips. I looked over my shoulder, seeing the hurt my words had caused. I immediately shut off the healing completely, though I really didn't want to.
"Claire…" I let go of my jeans, but she wasn't tugging anymore. "…I didn't, I just…" the disappointment in her eyes when our eyes met cut right through me. "you were laughing at me…please, Claire…I'm…"
"You're what?" She spat the words out at me, her face clouding with the same detached look that my Mother had gotten the night I'd shown her my powers. The night I'd accidentally killed her. I couldn't take it.
"I'm sorry. Please Claire, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. Claire, please." I didn't care that I sounded frantic. Desperate. She wasn't responding, just staring ahead blankly as a single tear made its way down her cheek.
"Here," raising myself slightly, I tugged my jeans down to mid thigh myself and tried to get back into the position she had had me in before looking at her over my shoulder again. A confused look had replaced the detached one, and the tear had been wiped away. Show me it's going to be ok, Claire. She looked me over, eyes resting for a moment on my underwear-covered ass.
"You take back what you said?"
"Yes. Everything. I didn't mean it; I just lost my temper. I'm sorry." I said as I propped my left elbow onto the seat of the couch and rested my chin in the nook of my arm looking back at her, my back twisted in an uncomfortable angle. Huffing, she looked me in the eye and then down at my ass again and raised her eyebrows.
"No wonder you got so upset!" she laughed as she trailed a finger over the bare flesh of my sit spots, making me hiss and moan while I cringed from her attention, still looking at her. "I'm good at this. Let's see, you have blood blisters here, bruises here and little welts here already," she gave a pinch to each area, causing me to quietly yipe and squirm each time. "Good boy, you haven't used your powers at all. I guess I can forgive you." Even though she was now tracing her nails over my battered flesh, clearly enjoying the fact that it was making me twitch, I suddenly felt at ease.
"But, still no crying. Too bad for you," she quickly grabbed the waistband of my dark gray underwear and pulled up slightly, baring much more of my flesh than I'd prefer before gripping my waist and pulling me in close once more. I actually whimpered, knowing it was about to get even worse. This time I got a sigh instead of a laugh from her.
SMACK! "Ah-OWW" SMACK! "AH" SMACK! "NO!" SMACK! "AH!" SMACK! "Owww!" SMACK! "AH!" SMACK! "MMM" SMACK! "AH"
Please, no!…no, no, no! I couldn't keep myself from trying to kick away, the pain from skin on skin was bewildering, especially with as sore as I already was. My black Converse sneakers squeaked and thudded on the floor as I pushed and kicked my legs. I slapped at the wooden floor, my palms leaving sweaty prints that faded seconds later.
"This is your problem, you spazz out because of your ego and your insecurities," she said sadly after a minute or so – I was losing track of the time, and even though I was having a hard time following her as I tried to adjust to the heightened level of pain, she was still getting through to me.
SMACK! "OWWW" SMACK! "AGHH" SMACK! "AH" SMACK! "MM!" SMACK! "OwOw!" SMACK! "AH!" SMACK! "Mmmm" SMACK! "UH"
"You destroy everything and everyone you touch because of it!" She was right and I knew it. It'd been a long time since I'd let that knowledge in, and it was ripping me to shreds to hear it.
SMACK! "OWWW" SMACK! "CLAIRE" SMACK! "NO" SMACK! "AH" SMACK! "STOP!" SMACK! "AH!" SMACK! "OWW" SMACK! "NO!"
"Stop? Oh-ho, we're no where near finished I'm afraid," she said, eliciting a crestfallen shout of 'NO' from me. "You have a lot of repenting to do."
SMACK! "YEOWW" SMACK! "AAHH" SMACK! "OW" SMACK! "OH!"
"I know about your little confession room when you first got your powers, confessing sins and asking for forgiveness…"
"No, DON'T!" How could she know that? I didn't want anyone knowing about that.
SMACK! "OWWW" SMACK! "MMM" SMACK! "NO" SMACK! "AH!"
"…and about all the times you've tried to be good...
SMACK! "AH-HA-HAOW" SMACK! "MMMRMHMM" SMACK! "NOOO"
"…you've screwed all but this one up so far," she delivered a particularly sharp slap that made me shout, "and you almost just screwed this one up, too!" I bucked, grabbing her thigh again with one hand. "…you've practically been asking for this."
"I said I was sorry!" I whined pathetically. This was getting bad.
SMACK! "AH-OWW" SMACK! "AGHH" SMACK! "AH" SMACK! "AH!" SMACK! "OwOw OWWW!" SMACK! "AH!" SMACK! "STOP I'M SORRY"
"Sorry doesn't make it ok." I can't take it! No more! My legs started kicking up at the knees more frantically, not even touching the floor anymore as I wiggled all over her tiny lap. I couldn't keep from yelling at each swat now, the pitch of my voice getting higher and higher.
"And we both know that you need more than a hug to feel better for all you've done." Before I could disagree or even react, she pulled my underwear down to mid thigh, raised her right knee and lowered her left. I let out a wail and grabbed her thigh with both hands as I felt my ass go even higher in the air. Tugging me in closer, she began spanking me so hard that she grunted with the exertion of each swing.
SMACK! "OWW" SMACK! "AGHH" SMACK! "AH" SMACK! "MM!" SMACK! "OWOW!" SMACK! "AH!" SMACK! "MMM" SMACK! "AH"
"Claire, OW - PLEASE!" I hated myself for begging, but I couldn't take anymore. Looking at the clock again, I couldn't believe it had only been another eight minutes. 6:37pm? Still, realizing she'd been at it for twenty-six minutes made me feel better about the begging. Not getting any response, however, did not. "PLEASE STOP!"
SMACK! "AH-OW" SMACK! "OWWW OW OWWWW" SMACK! "AH!" SMACK! "PLEASE!" SMACK! "AH-OWW!" SMACK! "CLAIRE, STOP!"
"I decide when this stops," she said with a harsh tone, continuing to spank and grunt at full force. Thinking and verbalization were becoming hard and my eyes began to sting. My yells were becoming uncomfortably close to wails at each connection of her hand with my ass. I was certain that I was swollen and blistered, it hurt so bad!
I had to do something! This had to stop! Desperate and with instinct taking over, I kicked my feet up and threw my hands back, all covering my ass as I screamed, "I CAN'T TAKE IT! NO MORE, I CAN'T TAKE IT!" I looked over my shoulder at her, my breath hitching, "Please, no more. Please?" She did not look happy. At all. My lip trembled, but my feet and hands stayed where they were. "Please?"
"What did I just tell you?" She was speaking to me like I was three; her eyebrow cocked and eyes boring into mine. Somehow, I remembered to stop the healing again. I did not want her any angrier.
"Th-that you decide when this stops," I said in a small voice, as I looked up at her from under my eyelashes, my neck and back sore from twisting back so often, ass throbbing.
"That's right, and what did you just do?" Now I felt like I was three. My eyes and nose stung and my vision began to blur.
"I stopped you," I said in an even smaller voice, and there it was. The first of the tears she had wanted welled up slowly until they spilled over my lower lids and down my face. I bit my lip to keep it from trembling.
"Right again," she huffed, keeping eye contact, "and now we're gonna have to go beyond you crying. You were pretty much done, too." I was ready to object, and then Claire shook her head, patted me on the back, and looked almost sad for me. Sad. For me. My breath hitched again as I almost laughed at the thought, and more tears fell down my face.
"Put your legs down and your hands in front of you," gentleness had returned to her voice. I did what she asked and she rearranged me on her lap so that my ass was even higher in the air. My eyes fell to my hands, tears dripping on them as I waited. I didn't have to wait long.
I felt her twist her entire torso back before she snapped forward. The pain exploded, but before I could process it, she struck again…and again. She spanked so fast that I was wailing and kicking within seconds, my cries becoming one continuous sound. I couldn't see through the tears to check the clock, but soon enough I reached my hand back again, unable to take any more pain.
Claire grabbed my hand and trapped it in the small of my back, trying to keep my bucking and kicking form in place. She spanked for what seemed an eternity, all time stopped as I broke into sobs. I tried to plead with her, but couldn't form any words, and so instead I simply hung over her lap sobbing. This will never end.
The sense of desperateness was replaced with a sense of calm at that thought, as the spanks almost seemed to become me, my only reality. It's nothing less than what I deserve, even though I've been trying to make amends, with all the pain I've caused. Realizing this was the worst pain of my life, I wondered about the pain I'd caused everyone else over the years.
I'm not sure when she had stopped, and only realized she had when I heard her clicking her tongue and whispering to me soothingly while rubbing circles on my back. I slid off her lap to get up, and was surprised when she pulled me in for a hug, squeezing me to her chest, my head snug under her chin, both of her arms cuddling me to her. This made me cry harder, and I clung to her.
"It's over now," she whispered, bobbing me like I was a baby in her arms. I didn't know what to think, but I knew I didn't want it to end just yet. It wasn't until my sobs slowed that she started shushing them away. We stayed like this for some time until I couldn't help but squirm, eager to stretch my legs and pull my jeans up. She kissed the top of my head and let me go.
"Feel better now? I know I do," that irritating smirk was back in her voice. I huffed.
"Yes," I begrudgingly admitted as I wiped my face and nose on my long sleeves and looked up at her smiling face. "Happy?"
"I am. Guess what?"
"What?"
"I told you I could make you cry," she squeezed me back into her briefly as she broke out in giggles. I can't believe you just said that. The absurdity made me laugh, too.
"This mean I can heal myself now?" I looked up into her face, trying to plea with a smile this time.
"Nope. It means you can get your food and stand in the corner for awhile."
"You're joking." I pulled out of the hug and raised an eyebrow at her while I tried to rub some of the pain out of my ass.
"Not at all. Go get your food out of the oven and eat it in the corner opposite the window." My jaw dropped. Fucking cheerleaders.
She matched my raised eyebrow, and I decided to do exactly what she said. I hissed as I pulled my underwear up, stood, and hissed again when I pulled my jeans up. Rubbing helped.
"Jeans come back down in the corner, so don't fasten them. I'll get'em for you, you'll have your hands full of food" she said brightly, hopping up off of the couch and heading for the kitchen, giggling at the look on my face as I simply stared, dumbfounded.
"Unless you want to go without dinner, you better hurry up." My stomach gave a loud growl that set me moving, and she laughed again. I deserve this, don't I? I sighed; fighting to keep what I knew would be considered a pout off of my face.
Finding a box of chicken lo mein for me in the oven, I snatched it and a fork, tucked a bottle of water under my arm, made my way to the corner without a sound and began to eat. At least she's letting me eat while I stand here. True to her word, Claire came up behind me and tugged my jeans to the ground before getting her own food. At least, that's what I assume her course of action was. I didn't risk looking, and instead ate the entire box of food in minutes flat while thinking about what had just happened.
I knew we had gotten close, spending so much time just the two of us, but I had tried to tell myself that it was just a means to an end. My loneliness had spiked, and I was tired of being alone. It was a simple unattached companionship with a common goal, to stop the hunters. None of this was real, or so I thought.
I'd thought wrong. She didn't have to do any of this tonight, and I didn't have to let her. Claire must really trust me now to even try this, just because she can't die doesn't mean I can't do horrible things to her. That last bit actually turned my stomach. I felt very emotional, but didn't fully understand the emotions I was feeling.
Anyone who'd taken an interest in me before had had ulterior motives. Claire didn't. She could do this job on her own; it wasn't like she needed my protection. She didn't need my companionship either; Matt and Mohinder could provide that. I'd been afraid of the conclusion this line of thinking would bring, had been for a few months, but I couldn't really deny it now. It's not as though she was building up for tonight to seek revenge, or I'd still be over her lap right now…or I'd have a sharp object in the base of my skull. No, this was real and I was scared. I let my hands fall to my sides, still holding the box and the bottle of water, and let my face rest on the cold wall as I tried to get my emotions under control.
My eyes were filling with tears again. Claire had obviously been watching me, and was at my side seconds after my breathing began to hitch again, rubbing my back.
"I think that's enough time in the corner, come on." She pulled me by my wrist to the kitchen table where she'd been eating her chicken fried rice and pot stickers, most of which I saw was left untouched. She pulled out a chair for me to sit next to her in, a very hard looking chair.
"Do I have to sit?" I really didn't want to, knowing the pain would really make me start up again. She smiled.
"Yes, but you can heal first." She patted my back again. I released the ability, slightly pulling a face as the prickliness intensified until the healing was complete and then sat next to her. She leaned forward, turning my face towards hers by my chin. Being pain free helped settle my emotions a tad, but there were still tears in my eyes.
"Wanna talk about it?" She cupped my right cheek in her hand.
"Rather not." I tried to look anywhere but her face, confused about the fear I felt and not liking the stinging in my eyes.
"We're going to," she said matter-of-factly.
"Why'd you bother asking?" She gave me a look that I was sure was a warning, I sighed. Blondes.
"Look, my Dad and Mohinder told me everything they knew about you when we first partnered up – that's how Dad convinced me, actually. I know you never had anyone who really cared about you, at least not for the real you. I can't imagine what that'd be like, and I'm guessing that's a big part of what went wrong in there," she said, pointing to my forehead. "Well, that and consuming so many powers so quickly."
I'm not sure what I'd expected this talk to be, but I hoped it wouldn't have gone down this road. The unease I felt burned up into my throat as I just sat and listened to her. I was surprised to hear our partnership was Noah's idea. That was shocking to me.
"We've been working together for a long time now. I've gotten to know you. I see this big black hole in your heart and it's sad. I like you, Sylar…Gabriel. I care about you, the real you. I'm tired of seeing you walk around with all this guilt and insecurity – I know you're trying to make things right. "
"I can never make up for what I did, Claire, not really." I wanted to hold back the tears, especially here, because the thought of her feeling sorry for me while we talked about this made me feel terrible. I didn't deserve sympathy; I deserved damnation. Those damn tears fell anyway.
"Think of all the people you've helped save – there are more of them than there are victims now. This needs to stop. You've changed, even Mohinder sees it." Nooo he doooooesn't.
"See, look at you! Like always, you won't hear a word of it. You've become my best friend, and I'm putting an end to this." My eyes had to have gone as large as saucers when she called me her friend, no, her best friend, and my mind screeched to a halt. Apparently she noticed.
"That's right, the monster who hunted me down, attacked me and my family countless times and ruined our lives ends up being my best friend. It's crazy, I know. But I also know I'm yours, too. Hey, things change."
"So what's this mean?"
"Well….it means I'm going to help you with your guilt from now on, it means you're going to eat some of my food because I can tell by the way you keep staring at it that you're still hungry and it means it's time to go over the blueprints so we can help more people." She said as she pushed the box of chicken fried rice at me.
"The pot stickers are Mine," she laughed as I pulled out the blueprints and dove into the food. The tears had already stopped, and I felt…safe. Happy. Still, no one better find out about this! I thought while grinning as we talked about the building and its dangers. In all, it wasn't a bad evening.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters of Heroes, and do this purely for my own enjoyment. I make no money off of this. It just makes me tingly and gleeful. I hope it does you as well.
Warning: This story contains the spanking of an adult, but don't worry, the brat had it coming. Still, if this is not your thing please don't read.
What if the next step in Sylar's empathy ability evolution is guilt? This story takes place a few years in the future when Sylar teams with the Heroes against a common foe, and forms a bond with Claire, who decides to help with his guilt through spanking.
Look up guilt on wikipedia for more.
Chapter One: Cry
We'd just gotten back to the cabin that currently acted as headquarters from our scouting mission, hanging our coats in the hall closet that divided the main entrance room from the joined kitchen and living room. Claire and I had partnered together exclusively everyday for six and a half months today - not that I was counting. The mission had gone well, I'd managed to get blueprints of the Cold War silo where the government was now holding 'our kind,' obviously in hopes that an underground maze with booby traps would slow us down. That really did amuse me.
"Hey, go see if they left us anything for dinner. I asked Matt to get Chinese, I know how much you like it," I closed the closet door and smiled at her as her eyes widened, "and yes, I made sure to ask for the steamed pot stickers." She smiled, clasping her hands together. Matt and Mohinder were already gone on surveillance duty, and Matt's mother hen complex always meant a waiting meal in the oven on surveillance night. Even though he certainly only really did it for Claire, there was still always plenty of food for the both of us. Tubs was indeed growing on me.
"I'm going to look over the blueprints of the silo to …why are you looking at me like that?" I asked her, my mood instantly changing from light to annoyed since I already knew where this was headed. Not this again. She'd been babbling about it all day.
"I wanna see if I can make you cry." She looked up at me with happy eyes, her hands smoothing out the front of her skirt.
"Claire, I'm not letting you do that to me. I already know you can't make me cry," I made sure there was as much annoyance as possible in my voice as I pushed past her from the hallway into the living room.
"I've never tried." She of course followed me, helpless puppy, sad eyes looking up at me. That doesn't work on me, Blondie.
"I said no."
"Yea, well, if you don't I'm gonna tell everyone you're scared of me," Claire said as she folded her arms in that snooty, resolute cheerleader sort of way. Scared? Fucking manipulative cheerleader. I'll show you scared!
I turned left, stooping into her personal space so that our noses were inches apart, thinking I could intimidate her into backing down her little game by leering at her straight in the eye. "No one will be home for hours, Claire, wouldn't want to anger the killer, would we?" I growled the words at her.
The slightly raised eyebrows and the huff told me she wasn't biting. No fear. Not anymore. I sighed and stood straight.
"It's not even going to hurt me," I reasoned.
"Then what's the problem?" Just like that, her perky attitude was back tenfold. It was my turn to huff.
She swept past me and sat down on the tall couch, scooting herself back into it. I bit back a smirk when I saw that her feet barely touched the ground before she realized the same thing and scooted forward closer to the edge again. Looking up with her sweetest smile, she patted her lap expectantly.
"Come on, don't be a baby. …and you know you deserve it." She spoke so sweetly; you'd think she was offering me an ice cream sundae.
"Might even help you with your guilt." Her smile faded ever so slightly. Guilt?
"I don't have….." The sudden glare sent me in another verbal direction. "You're not dropping this, are you?"
"No – and why should I, with all you've done to me and my family? You ruined Everything! You ruined our Lives! You're lucky all I wanna do is spank you."
And there it was. Just tell me she wasn't Noah's daughter. Claire's other super power? Disemboweling you with mere words.
Somehow I was considering her demand, not that I felt guilty of course.
It wasn't my fault that I was more highly evolved than anyone else. I was made a monster, a hunter. ….it was my God given right. Besides, my work the past year and a half helping Claire and the others to try and stop the government round ups more than negated anything I'd done previously, right?
Even I wasn't buying that last bit.
"Why now? Why after all this time? We've been working together nearly everyday for over a year now…just the two of us for over a half a year."
"It wouldn't have made a difference before," she said thoughtfully, and then firmly "Now, stop stalling and come here."
What does that mean 'wouldn't have made a difference before'? I was walking to her side without really even being conscious of doing so, irritated as I rolled what she'd said through my mind. For a blonde, Claire had a strange way of being very Zen at times. …before what? What changed?
"Good boy," she said as she quickly grabbed my wrist and yanked me towards her lap. It wasn't that she was strong, her boldness had taken me by surprise and I lost my balance. She quickly released my wrist, grabbing and pushing down on my lower back while I was in midair so as to guide me to her lap.
I threw my hands in front of my face just in time to prevent my chin from connecting with the wood floor. Anyone else threw me around like this, and they'd be dead. She giggled, and I realized I had growled in frustration once I'd realized what was happening. I did NOT agree to this!
"Don't laugh at me!" I yelled at her over my shoulder, slamming my feet and my fists on the floor in anger, feeling stupid with my tall frame draped over her tiny lap, even though my thin hips fit just fine. "You shouldn't be doing this, Claire." She smiled.
"This is ridiculous, you know that!" I punched the floor again, growling. She gave me a mock pout, as though to insinuate that I was whining. I do NOT whine. I decided looking at the floor was much more appealing than her face, and I growled again. The only reason I don't kill you now is Merely due to the fact that the death wouldn't take. Certainly not out of any attachment.
She patted my back as though she could read my mind, and I somehow found it hard to stay angry. I did, however, find it nearly impossible yet imperative to stay over her lap, my mind churning to find the answer to why that was. This is so beneath me, and yet I can't move. My curiosity picks the worst times to prick up. Simple curiosity, that's what this is. Nothing more. Nothing more at all.
She sighed happily to herself, pushing me and shifting her weight until she had me where she wanted me, and I wondered where to put my hands. I decided on the floor, thinking it best not to latch onto her bare leg. She, of course, acting all the while like all of this was the most natural thing in the world.
Wrapping her left arm around my torso, she pulled me snug up against her and rested her right hand low on my ass. I'd never been spanked before – hadn't even gotten my ass swatted as a child – and while I wasn't all that concerned – I mean, how bad could it really be? Fuck, let her do it if it'd shut her up – I did quickly realize that being bent over a lap with my butt that high in the air was enough to fully embarrass me.
"Ok, enough. Let me up, Claire." I wiggled, indicating to her that I was going to get up.
"I don't think so! You stay right there, we haven't even started yet!" Her grip tightened.
"I don't like this. I want up." I started to push up, not liking the nervous tone or that my voice had cracked, but she tightened her grip further, and I didn't want to fight her. We'd come a long way over the past year. Not that I cared about her. ….we just had a common goal.
"I don't care what you want right now, you stay PUT!" She yelled, enunciating 'put' with a surprisingly sharp slap to the under curve of my left cheek. My eyes shot wide and I sucked in a breath as I froze. That actually hurt. It hurt very much, in fact. Nothing hurts Me! This little bitch found a weak spot I didn't even know I had!
"And don't you go using your powers to keep from feeling this, you hear me?" I realized I had both hands gripping her bare thigh, fingers sunk deep in the flesh, as I started breathing again. When did they leave the floor? I quickly put them back down to brace myself awkwardly, uncomfortable with the contact as another thought screamed at me. Get up, get up Now!
"I said, Do You Hear Me?" She slapped the same spot again four times, but with more force. I clenched my eyes shut and attempted a failed laugh, trying not to let on that she was hurting me, which she was, and instead thought about her not wanting me to use my powers. This was actually something I could do, but I hadn't realized anyone else would figure that out…Especially not the blonde cheerleader. I knew that the healing would try to kick in automatically, but I was wondering if a barrage of smacks would impede it.
I was considering this when,
SMACK!
"Sy-lar?"
"I hear you!"
"And?" She drummed her fingers on the very same place she had been aiming all her swats, keeping the area radiating.
"Okay, I won't use my powers. Happy now?" That damn whine had slipped into my voice, and I shuddered slightly.
"I won't be happy until I make you cry," shocked, I looked over my shoulder to see a smug grin on her face. This is not promising. "I don't care how long it takes, either. It's not like my hand is going to get sore." Not promising at all, I thought as I swallowed.
She raised her hand high into the air; I tried not to cringe, seeing the set look on her face as our eyes met. She started the spanking in earnest, and I had to turn away as she peppered her slaps all over my ass so that I couldn't anticipate where she'd focus next.
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
Her little hand rained down in perfect time with the second hand on the clock that stood on the table next to the couch, and I wondered if she was aware of this as I saw that the time read 6:11pm. I took some comfort in at least knowing when the next blow was coming and in the perfection of its timing. Maybe 'comfort' isn't the right word…
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
Her speed was causing the prickly pain of healing, just before her hand fell again bringing with it instant pain, causing a horrible vicious circle. I found I couldn't quite turn the healing completely off while she spanked me, my concentration just kept faltering with each new swat, but at least my attempts would keep her from noticing. Three minutes on the nose later, the realization that I was definitely not going to skate through this pain free made it difficult to keep my anxiety in check. If I don't react, she'll give up soon, I thought desperately.
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
How the fuck can This be hurting me so bad? I slowed my breathing, in through my nose, out through my mouth in a rhythm to accompany the clock in 1:4 time. This strategy worked all of two minutes and fifty six seconds when she once again laid into the areas I'd be sitting on later – Yea, much later - causing my legs to slightly jerk involuntarily with each spank. Glad she couldn't see my face, I tried to focus all of my needed reaction there, wordlessly mouthing my pain as I scrunched my face, as at least some small outlet for my pain while I balled up my fists. I never was very good with pain.
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
Stop, stop, Stop, STOP! I felt fear, something I hadn't experienced in a long time, well up inside me as I realized that the healing ability was actually making the pain much much worse. This is Not HAPPENING! I stomped my right toe on the wood floor in frustration, barely containing a whimper, immediately regretting showing any emotion.
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
"Getting a little uncomfortable already, are we?"
A little? You've been at it for …. eight minutes? For only eight minutes? She has got to stop, I have to make her stop! Broken hearted, I couldn't bite back the groan that escaped when I saw that the clock only read 6:19pm, but I tried to play it to my advantage.
"Legs are going to sleep," I grunted as I stretched them out one at a time, trying to cool some of the heat building in my ass, all the while her hand never missing a beat.
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
"Uh huh. Funny, my limbs never go numb." That was it…
"You're playing with fire, Claire! Stop! Before you get burned! Stop! NOW!" I screamed at the top of my lungs over my shoulder, focusing all the pain into the most intense glare I could muster. This will end it! This'll scare her! This look gets everyone!
She paused, hand poised high and ready to strike me again, shock on her face. I knew I had her now. I knew I'd finally won. A smirk just began to play on my face as I thought of her failure when her lip curled into a sneer and her eyes shot to mine. Daaaamn iiit. She just glared at me for a long moment, her throat making a guttural noise while she shook her head slowly and then raised her hand higher before slamming it down.
"Don't you Threaten ME, Especially not in This position! You've had Plenty of chances to really stop this and you Haven't," she yelled back, spanking all the while, "you're NOT getting out of this Now! You KNOW you deserve this!" Then the unthinkable happened, she started hitting harder. Harder? NO! I honestly didn't think it could get any worse than before. Shit, shit, shit!
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!
The force of her swats pushed me forward a little with every connection, and I couldn't help but squirm, I wanted to get away from that little hand! I could feel a slight sweat break out on my forehead, causing my hair to begin falling forward into my eyes. I tried so hard to keep quiet, but little gasps and sighs started escaping my lips. Within three minutes time, every smack was followed by a soft, 'Aahhh,' and I lowered my head in both pain and embarrassment - so much for dignity.
SMACK! "Ah" SMACK! "Aah" SMACK! "..ow" SMACK! "Ah!" SMACK! "Aahhh…Claire!" SMACK! "No!" SMACK! "Aahha" SMACK! "ah…Stop!"
"You don't tell me what to do right now," she breathed into my ear, giving me chills.
SMACK! "Mm" SMACK! "Ah" SMACK! "Aah" SMACK! "Ah!" SMACK! "Ow!" SMACK! "Aahh!" SMACK! "Mmmm" SMACK! "ah" SMACK! "AH"
Her hand fell incessantly, and I was not used to this. I couldn't help it when I started to softly kick and slightly buck. Maybe if I show her that I can accept this, it will be enough and she'll stop. I tried to keep quiet and docile, not wanting to see how bad this could really get.
SMACK! "Ah" SMACK! "mmm" SMACK! "Aahh" SMACK! "Ah!" SMACK! "mmm" SMACK! "Aah" SMACK! "nnnn" SMACK! "Ah" SMACK! "AHHAA"
After awhile I was drawing my breaths more quickly, pawing at the floor. Curiosity – and a need to get my mind elsewhere - got the best of me, and I looked to see how much time had passed. It was only 6:29pm. Ten minutes had passed since the last time I'd looked, and at this rate I was worried that Claire would get her damn wish. I'm Sylar, a fucking serial killer, and this is what gets me? This? I already wanted to cry, and not just from the pain.
SMACK! "nnnnff" SMACK! "Ah" SMACK! "Aah" SMACK! "Ah!" SMACK! "Oh!" SMACK! "Mmm!" SMACK! "Amm" SMACK! "ah" SMACK! "aahhhh"
"I didn't realize it was so easy to shut you up," I bristled at the smirk I heard in her voice. I looked over my shoulder and saw the look on her face. Not quite a grin, but close.
"Easy? AH - Your hand - MMM - has to be FEEling this by N-now. It's – AH! – going on – ow – twenty MINutes! AHH!" I'd wanted to stop speaking after the first three words, wishing I'd just kept my mouth shut. I'd try not to make that mistake again, no matter how much she goaded me. My eyes fell again to the floor in front of me in irritation.
SMACK! "Mm" SMACK! "Ah" SMACK! "Aah" SMACK! "Ah!" SMACK! "Mmm!" SMACK! "Aah!" SMACK! "Ow!" SMACK! "AH" SMACK! "AH!"
"My hand's fine, you changed me when you cut my skull open. Remember that? After you stole my ability? Since then it takes a lot to get to me, for a while I couldn't even feel anything at all. Now," she bent close to my ear again, "how are you doing?" Her tone sounded so bright and innocent. How can she speak to me so sweetly when she's doing this to me? I thought as I furrowed my brows, looking straight ahead, it both angered and frightened me. I didn't like being reminded what I'd done to her, especially not at this particular moment in time.
SMACK! "AW" SMACK! "AH" SMACK! "Mmm" SMACK! "AH!" SMACK! "Oww!" SMACK! "AH!" SMACK! "Mmmm" SMACK! "AH" SMACK! "AH"
"That wasn't a rhetorical question," I looked back at her again, hoping the pain that I knew was showing on my face would be enough of an answer. Doon't make me speaak, I tried to say with my eyes. I got no such mercy.
"Well, if you aren't going to answer me, I'll just have to see for myself, won't I?" She immediately began tugging my jeans down with me still over her lap, not even bothering to unzip them.
"NO!" I screamed, reaching back, trying to grab a hold of my jeans to keep them up. "Don't you dare, Claire! CLAIRE!" She giggled, I growled. Thanks to my thin frame, she already had them halfway down my ass when I was able to grab them, beginning a tug of war. "Stop it!" I tried kicking my legs and wiggling back and forth to throw her off, but couldn't. She laughed harder.
"Stop laughing at me, you stupid fucking little Bitch! I'll fucking KILL you, you WHORE!" I screamed the words at her. Her laughing stopped immediately, the silence in the room making my ears ring, and I regretted saying it as soon as the words left my lips. I looked over my shoulder, seeing the hurt my words had caused. I immediately shut off the healing completely, though I really didn't want to.
"Claire…" I let go of my jeans, but she wasn't tugging anymore. "…I didn't, I just…" the disappointment in her eyes when our eyes met cut right through me. "you were laughing at me…please, Claire…I'm…"
"You're what?" She spat the words out at me, her face clouding with the same detached look that my Mother had gotten the night I'd shown her my powers. The night I'd accidentally killed her. I couldn't take it.
"I'm sorry. Please Claire, I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. Claire, please." I didn't care that I sounded frantic. Desperate. She wasn't responding, just staring ahead blankly as a single tear made its way down her cheek.
"Here," raising myself slightly, I tugged my jeans down to mid thigh myself and tried to get back into the position she had had me in before looking at her over my shoulder again. A confused look had replaced the detached one, and the tear had been wiped away. Show me it's going to be ok, Claire. She looked me over, eyes resting for a moment on my underwear-covered ass.
"You take back what you said?"
"Yes. Everything. I didn't mean it; I just lost my temper. I'm sorry." I said as I propped my left elbow onto the seat of the couch and rested my chin in the nook of my arm looking back at her, my back twisted in an uncomfortable angle. Huffing, she looked me in the eye and then down at my ass again and raised her eyebrows.
"No wonder you got so upset!" she laughed as she trailed a finger over the bare flesh of my sit spots, making me hiss and moan while I cringed from her attention, still looking at her. "I'm good at this. Let's see, you have blood blisters here, bruises here and little welts here already," she gave a pinch to each area, causing me to quietly yipe and squirm each time. "Good boy, you haven't used your powers at all. I guess I can forgive you." Even though she was now tracing her nails over my battered flesh, clearly enjoying the fact that it was making me twitch, I suddenly felt at ease.
"But, still no crying. Too bad for you," she quickly grabbed the waistband of my dark gray underwear and pulled up slightly, baring much more of my flesh than I'd prefer before gripping my waist and pulling me in close once more. I actually whimpered, knowing it was about to get even worse. This time I got a sigh instead of a laugh from her.
SMACK! "Ah-OWW" SMACK! "AH" SMACK! "NO!" SMACK! "AH!" SMACK! "Owww!" SMACK! "AH!" SMACK! "MMM" SMACK! "AH"
Please, no!…no, no, no! I couldn't keep myself from trying to kick away, the pain from skin on skin was bewildering, especially with as sore as I already was. My black Converse sneakers squeaked and thudded on the floor as I pushed and kicked my legs. I slapped at the wooden floor, my palms leaving sweaty prints that faded seconds later.
"This is your problem, you spazz out because of your ego and your insecurities," she said sadly after a minute or so – I was losing track of the time, and even though I was having a hard time following her as I tried to adjust to the heightened level of pain, she was still getting through to me.
SMACK! "OWWW" SMACK! "AGHH" SMACK! "AH" SMACK! "MM!" SMACK! "OwOw!" SMACK! "AH!" SMACK! "Mmmm" SMACK! "UH"
"You destroy everything and everyone you touch because of it!" She was right and I knew it. It'd been a long time since I'd let that knowledge in, and it was ripping me to shreds to hear it.
SMACK! "OWWW" SMACK! "CLAIRE" SMACK! "NO" SMACK! "AH" SMACK! "STOP!" SMACK! "AH!" SMACK! "OWW" SMACK! "NO!"
"Stop? Oh-ho, we're no where near finished I'm afraid," she said, eliciting a crestfallen shout of 'NO' from me. "You have a lot of repenting to do."
SMACK! "YEOWW" SMACK! "AAHH" SMACK! "OW" SMACK! "OH!"
"I know about your little confession room when you first got your powers, confessing sins and asking for forgiveness…"
"No, DON'T!" How could she know that? I didn't want anyone knowing about that.
SMACK! "OWWW" SMACK! "MMM" SMACK! "NO" SMACK! "AH!"
"…and about all the times you've tried to be good...
SMACK! "AH-HA-HAOW" SMACK! "MMMRMHMM" SMACK! "NOOO"
"…you've screwed all but this one up so far," she delivered a particularly sharp slap that made me shout, "and you almost just screwed this one up, too!" I bucked, grabbing her thigh again with one hand. "…you've practically been asking for this."
"I said I was sorry!" I whined pathetically. This was getting bad.
SMACK! "AH-OWW" SMACK! "AGHH" SMACK! "AH" SMACK! "AH!" SMACK! "OwOw OWWW!" SMACK! "AH!" SMACK! "STOP I'M SORRY"
"Sorry doesn't make it ok." I can't take it! No more! My legs started kicking up at the knees more frantically, not even touching the floor anymore as I wiggled all over her tiny lap. I couldn't keep from yelling at each swat now, the pitch of my voice getting higher and higher.
"And we both know that you need more than a hug to feel better for all you've done." Before I could disagree or even react, she pulled my underwear down to mid thigh, raised her right knee and lowered her left. I let out a wail and grabbed her thigh with both hands as I felt my ass go even higher in the air. Tugging me in closer, she began spanking me so hard that she grunted with the exertion of each swing.
SMACK! "OWW" SMACK! "AGHH" SMACK! "AH" SMACK! "MM!" SMACK! "OWOW!" SMACK! "AH!" SMACK! "MMM" SMACK! "AH"
"Claire, OW - PLEASE!" I hated myself for begging, but I couldn't take anymore. Looking at the clock again, I couldn't believe it had only been another eight minutes. 6:37pm? Still, realizing she'd been at it for twenty-six minutes made me feel better about the begging. Not getting any response, however, did not. "PLEASE STOP!"
SMACK! "AH-OW" SMACK! "OWWW OW OWWWW" SMACK! "AH!" SMACK! "PLEASE!" SMACK! "AH-OWW!" SMACK! "CLAIRE, STOP!"
"I decide when this stops," she said with a harsh tone, continuing to spank and grunt at full force. Thinking and verbalization were becoming hard and my eyes began to sting. My yells were becoming uncomfortably close to wails at each connection of her hand with my ass. I was certain that I was swollen and blistered, it hurt so bad!
I had to do something! This had to stop! Desperate and with instinct taking over, I kicked my feet up and threw my hands back, all covering my ass as I screamed, "I CAN'T TAKE IT! NO MORE, I CAN'T TAKE IT!" I looked over my shoulder at her, my breath hitching, "Please, no more. Please?" She did not look happy. At all. My lip trembled, but my feet and hands stayed where they were. "Please?"
"What did I just tell you?" She was speaking to me like I was three; her eyebrow cocked and eyes boring into mine. Somehow, I remembered to stop the healing again. I did not want her any angrier.
"Th-that you decide when this stops," I said in a small voice, as I looked up at her from under my eyelashes, my neck and back sore from twisting back so often, ass throbbing.
"That's right, and what did you just do?" Now I felt like I was three. My eyes and nose stung and my vision began to blur.
"I stopped you," I said in an even smaller voice, and there it was. The first of the tears she had wanted welled up slowly until they spilled over my lower lids and down my face. I bit my lip to keep it from trembling.
"Right again," she huffed, keeping eye contact, "and now we're gonna have to go beyond you crying. You were pretty much done, too." I was ready to object, and then Claire shook her head, patted me on the back, and looked almost sad for me. Sad. For me. My breath hitched again as I almost laughed at the thought, and more tears fell down my face.
"Put your legs down and your hands in front of you," gentleness had returned to her voice. I did what she asked and she rearranged me on her lap so that my ass was even higher in the air. My eyes fell to my hands, tears dripping on them as I waited. I didn't have to wait long.
I felt her twist her entire torso back before she snapped forward. The pain exploded, but before I could process it, she struck again…and again. She spanked so fast that I was wailing and kicking within seconds, my cries becoming one continuous sound. I couldn't see through the tears to check the clock, but soon enough I reached my hand back again, unable to take any more pain.
Claire grabbed my hand and trapped it in the small of my back, trying to keep my bucking and kicking form in place. She spanked for what seemed an eternity, all time stopped as I broke into sobs. I tried to plead with her, but couldn't form any words, and so instead I simply hung over her lap sobbing. This will never end.
The sense of desperateness was replaced with a sense of calm at that thought, as the spanks almost seemed to become me, my only reality. It's nothing less than what I deserve, even though I've been trying to make amends, with all the pain I've caused. Realizing this was the worst pain of my life, I wondered about the pain I'd caused everyone else over the years.
I'm not sure when she had stopped, and only realized she had when I heard her clicking her tongue and whispering to me soothingly while rubbing circles on my back. I slid off her lap to get up, and was surprised when she pulled me in for a hug, squeezing me to her chest, my head snug under her chin, both of her arms cuddling me to her. This made me cry harder, and I clung to her.
"It's over now," she whispered, bobbing me like I was a baby in her arms. I didn't know what to think, but I knew I didn't want it to end just yet. It wasn't until my sobs slowed that she started shushing them away. We stayed like this for some time until I couldn't help but squirm, eager to stretch my legs and pull my jeans up. She kissed the top of my head and let me go.
"Feel better now? I know I do," that irritating smirk was back in her voice. I huffed.
"Yes," I begrudgingly admitted as I wiped my face and nose on my long sleeves and looked up at her smiling face. "Happy?"
"I am. Guess what?"
"What?"
"I told you I could make you cry," she squeezed me back into her briefly as she broke out in giggles. I can't believe you just said that. The absurdity made me laugh, too.
"This mean I can heal myself now?" I looked up into her face, trying to plea with a smile this time.
"Nope. It means you can get your food and stand in the corner for awhile."
"You're joking." I pulled out of the hug and raised an eyebrow at her while I tried to rub some of the pain out of my ass.
"Not at all. Go get your food out of the oven and eat it in the corner opposite the window." My jaw dropped. Fucking cheerleaders.
She matched my raised eyebrow, and I decided to do exactly what she said. I hissed as I pulled my underwear up, stood, and hissed again when I pulled my jeans up. Rubbing helped.
"Jeans come back down in the corner, so don't fasten them. I'll get'em for you, you'll have your hands full of food" she said brightly, hopping up off of the couch and heading for the kitchen, giggling at the look on my face as I simply stared, dumbfounded.
"Unless you want to go without dinner, you better hurry up." My stomach gave a loud growl that set me moving, and she laughed again. I deserve this, don't I? I sighed; fighting to keep what I knew would be considered a pout off of my face.
Finding a box of chicken lo mein for me in the oven, I snatched it and a fork, tucked a bottle of water under my arm, made my way to the corner without a sound and began to eat. At least she's letting me eat while I stand here. True to her word, Claire came up behind me and tugged my jeans to the ground before getting her own food. At least, that's what I assume her course of action was. I didn't risk looking, and instead ate the entire box of food in minutes flat while thinking about what had just happened.
I knew we had gotten close, spending so much time just the two of us, but I had tried to tell myself that it was just a means to an end. My loneliness had spiked, and I was tired of being alone. It was a simple unattached companionship with a common goal, to stop the hunters. None of this was real, or so I thought.
I'd thought wrong. She didn't have to do any of this tonight, and I didn't have to let her. Claire must really trust me now to even try this, just because she can't die doesn't mean I can't do horrible things to her. That last bit actually turned my stomach. I felt very emotional, but didn't fully understand the emotions I was feeling.
Anyone who'd taken an interest in me before had had ulterior motives. Claire didn't. She could do this job on her own; it wasn't like she needed my protection. She didn't need my companionship either; Matt and Mohinder could provide that. I'd been afraid of the conclusion this line of thinking would bring, had been for a few months, but I couldn't really deny it now. It's not as though she was building up for tonight to seek revenge, or I'd still be over her lap right now…or I'd have a sharp object in the base of my skull. No, this was real and I was scared. I let my hands fall to my sides, still holding the box and the bottle of water, and let my face rest on the cold wall as I tried to get my emotions under control.
My eyes were filling with tears again. Claire had obviously been watching me, and was at my side seconds after my breathing began to hitch again, rubbing my back.
"I think that's enough time in the corner, come on." She pulled me by my wrist to the kitchen table where she'd been eating her chicken fried rice and pot stickers, most of which I saw was left untouched. She pulled out a chair for me to sit next to her in, a very hard looking chair.
"Do I have to sit?" I really didn't want to, knowing the pain would really make me start up again. She smiled.
"Yes, but you can heal first." She patted my back again. I released the ability, slightly pulling a face as the prickliness intensified until the healing was complete and then sat next to her. She leaned forward, turning my face towards hers by my chin. Being pain free helped settle my emotions a tad, but there were still tears in my eyes.
"Wanna talk about it?" She cupped my right cheek in her hand.
"Rather not." I tried to look anywhere but her face, confused about the fear I felt and not liking the stinging in my eyes.
"We're going to," she said matter-of-factly.
"Why'd you bother asking?" She gave me a look that I was sure was a warning, I sighed. Blondes.
"Look, my Dad and Mohinder told me everything they knew about you when we first partnered up – that's how Dad convinced me, actually. I know you never had anyone who really cared about you, at least not for the real you. I can't imagine what that'd be like, and I'm guessing that's a big part of what went wrong in there," she said, pointing to my forehead. "Well, that and consuming so many powers so quickly."
I'm not sure what I'd expected this talk to be, but I hoped it wouldn't have gone down this road. The unease I felt burned up into my throat as I just sat and listened to her. I was surprised to hear our partnership was Noah's idea. That was shocking to me.
"We've been working together for a long time now. I've gotten to know you. I see this big black hole in your heart and it's sad. I like you, Sylar…Gabriel. I care about you, the real you. I'm tired of seeing you walk around with all this guilt and insecurity – I know you're trying to make things right. "
"I can never make up for what I did, Claire, not really." I wanted to hold back the tears, especially here, because the thought of her feeling sorry for me while we talked about this made me feel terrible. I didn't deserve sympathy; I deserved damnation. Those damn tears fell anyway.
"Think of all the people you've helped save – there are more of them than there are victims now. This needs to stop. You've changed, even Mohinder sees it." Nooo he doooooesn't.
"See, look at you! Like always, you won't hear a word of it. You've become my best friend, and I'm putting an end to this." My eyes had to have gone as large as saucers when she called me her friend, no, her best friend, and my mind screeched to a halt. Apparently she noticed.
"That's right, the monster who hunted me down, attacked me and my family countless times and ruined our lives ends up being my best friend. It's crazy, I know. But I also know I'm yours, too. Hey, things change."
"So what's this mean?"
"Well….it means I'm going to help you with your guilt from now on, it means you're going to eat some of my food because I can tell by the way you keep staring at it that you're still hungry and it means it's time to go over the blueprints so we can help more people." She said as she pushed the box of chicken fried rice at me.
"The pot stickers are Mine," she laughed as I pulled out the blueprints and dove into the food. The tears had already stopped, and I felt…safe. Happy. Still, no one better find out about this! I thought while grinning as we talked about the building and its dangers. In all, it wasn't a bad evening.
